It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
