Me too!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
