You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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