Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize