neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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