I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
