Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
