It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize