Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
