why didn't you poke me back
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
