Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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