erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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