If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize