So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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