this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
