You work out of a Hotel?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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