are you so shy because you have an std?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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