Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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