1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize