i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
