Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You have to summon your inner elephant
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
