He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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