Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
