I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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