I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
