hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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