What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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