Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
