Pappa wants mamma naked
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
