too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
