Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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