This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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