I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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