He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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