I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
