I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
