I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
