I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
