If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
