Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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