I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
