No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
