I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
