in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
