I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He felt like a one man threesome
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
