is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
