OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
