I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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