I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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