First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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