I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
