Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
