It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I will be naked everywhere
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
