My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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