youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
