i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize