I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
