You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
