dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
