Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
