Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
